Is it possible for girls to be geeks and succeed romantically? Not yet…

Now that the world is over the shock, horror and dismay of discovering that it was Elise Andrew (yes, a woman) is behind the Facebook page ‘I f***king love science’ and IT giants at the height of the industry have employed women at all levels, even at the helm, revolutionising the technology industry and saving flailing companies, is it safe to say that girls growing up with geek tendencies are now accepted as desirable women in all other arenas of life?  The answer sadly is ‘Not quite yet.’

Loners don’t make good lovers

The problem is that despite cultural revolution on both sides of the gender divide, what men find attractive about women, looks aside, still rests largely on the traditional aspects of femininity – creativity, community and caring.  Overall, when we think about ‘geeks’, individuals whose main preoccupation (read: obsession) is the gathering of very specific information to progress ideas, share ideas with a niche group of like-minded people (if at all) or better understand existing ideas, we assume and mostly rightly so, that the individual in question lives quite an insular lifestyle.

Being a geek is a full-time commitment. It leaves little time for perfecting self-presentation, which poses a problem for women for whom a certain amount of vanity is still important when seeking a partner.  In the arena of ‘geekdom’, knowledge is power and where finding a boyfriend is concerned, building community, inspiring affection in another and exuding some kind of desire for procreation is the clincher.

Men prefer balance to extremes

Equally, a woman with options is more likely to seek a man who she feels can represent her in the world, be not only the provider but the protector.  However, women are less likely to hold an insular nature, obsession with technology or any kind of uncool computing and lack of community against intelligent, cerebral men.  After all they already tick the clever box and competence, especially in bucket loads is extremely attractive to women, even if your skill isn’t kicking a ball or looking pretty.

Society has already began to shift towards accepting ‘less masculine’ men as woman are increasingly content with the idea that they have a ‘brainy one’ rather than a manly hunk of beef. Also, masses of ability have been known to cultivate masses of money which doesn’t hurt either.  Men however, prefer more balance and are more likely to seek this.  Beauty and brains would be the ideal whereas an insular obsession coupled perhaps with a little social ineptitude and maybe less beauty, is not. Girls grow up learning to be ‘humble and casual’ about their skills according to an article in Forbes about ‘Fake Geek girls’, maybe for good reason.  Having an interest in something makes you a ‘casual hobbyist’ not a geek and geek girls still don’t get the guys.


Leave a Reply